Selling a dream isn’t wrong, but claiming that it’s reality is.

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We’re hearing it everywhere. Social media is bad for us. It’s ruining our brains. It’s turning us into worse people. But why aren’t we talking about the people who dominate the platform?

Let’s get this out of the way first: I absolutely abhor the title “Influencer.” I hate it! It’s the worst, and I hate referring to myself as one. Because, yes, I am a creative, but when it comes down to it, I’m just a person who’s trying to inspire women, enrich their lives in some way, and make them feel good.

Let’s also get this out of the way: The title of this post isn’t 100% accurate, but it was a succinct way to get my point across and draw you into reading my opinion. Do I think there are problems with social media? Yes. Absolutely. Tech giants that draw data and insights from our online behavior that they then sell to companies is a problem. Those giants manipulating how we behave with that data through algorithms is also a problem. But there is a whole other side of social media that is run by humans who do not work at or for Facebook. Humans who have thousands if not millions of followers. Those humans make distinct decisions to display a life that isn’t real, but to sell it as if it is. At the very core, it comes down to one word: INAUTHENTICITY. Today, that’s what I want to talk about.

Inauthenticity is a natural human, if not animalist, instinct. An animal who is injured would try to appear healthy and strong to a threatening presence. We as people hold our cards close to our chest to protect ourselves from the world. But social media has amplified this, and many influencers have built an entire world off of it. Social media has grown to dominate a big part of our lives. We connect with friends, we search for inspiration, we interact with each other and on these platforms on a daily basis. Everyone likes to display the best parts of their lives on social media, just as one would put on a nice outfit for a public function or wouldn’t air their dirty laundry at a community gathering. But most people aren’t building a career off of sharing their lives. There are a lot of influencers selling a manufactured glossy life that are, though. And they’re training a population of people who use social media every day (i.e. everyone but your 101 year old grandmother) to do the same thing. It’s taken one-upp’ing or “keeping up with the Jones’” to a whole other level.

As someone who accidentally fell into this industry and who has peeked behind the curtain of the feeds of many influencers, I can say that there are some amazing influencers out there that are doing beautiful things to better this world and are just as lovely in real life as they are online. But I’ve also seen some pretty dark things, too. I’ve heard and seen first-hand the entitlement that comes with influencer status, and the (not always so) silent ranking of class by how many followers a person has. I’ve seen influencers treat others who are up and coming as play-things or assistants under the guise of friendship, and I’ve seen them bully those people. This while they post about #antibullying. I’ve seen some even manufacture drama that doesn’t exist in order to make themselves seem more interesting to their followers. I’ve seen a lot. But I don’t want to get into too much of that, because the focus here is how the influencers’ audiences are affected, and what they believe.

Here is how I think certain influencers are distinctly hurting our society:

It’s the Photoshopping. The nipping and tucking of their bodies in photos while touting that they’re “body positive” on their Instagram bio. This is particularly egregious because of how it affects women and girls. Studies have shown that women’s body image is most heavily influenced by social media, whereas men’s body image is largely based on their significant other. When influencers are displaying to people a body that is fake, particularly influencers with young and impressionable audiences, they’re selling future body dysmorphia.

It’s the extravagant trips—often paid for by brands or PR companies—that are sold as “just because” trips or just part of that person’s everyday life, rather than a privilege that not many can afford, or that they could even afford on their own. These influencers have literally spawned followers who dish out tons of money in order to go on a trip just to recreate an extravagant photo that the influencer put up on social media. This does not mean I think influencers who love to travel shouldn’t or that they shouldn’t share it with their followers, but transparency is key.

It’s the insanely staged photos and videos that often take hours to get a perfect shot, yet are sold as simply moments in this person’s life. This type of influencer is like Belle from Beauty And The Beast, and all the people in her world know they play a backdrop to her. She has little birds and cute animals that sing her awake every morning. She has her fridge perfectly organized and filled with branded protein bars and all the nut milks one can think of. She has overpriced crystals that give her magical healing powers. She even has a perfectly curated apartment, and when it gets dirty, the cleaning supplies come alive, dancing and singing while scrubbing everything until it shines. These high gloss influencers are selling a fairytale, which is all well and good. Fairytales spark imagination and allow people to dream, to escape from every day mundanity.  But the problem is that some influencers are stamping this fairytale as real life. Their real life, to be exact.

It’s acting as if they personally found and have been using a product or service for years when in actuality a brand is paying them to use/show it. I don’t necessarily think that it’s wrong for influencers to create sponsored content or get paid just as I don’t think there’s anything wrong with magazines having ads in them or anyone asking to get paid for their job. They have to make money somehow to fund the time and effort they put into creating their content. But in magazines, you know when something is an ad. Even if it’s built into the editorial content, the magazine still disclaims it. In many cases, though, influencers aren’t being honest with their followers by letting them know that what their sharing is an ad, and they often tell stories around their experience and history with a product/service that are just plain lies.

At the risk of sounding jealous, often times these influencers are more successful because people love fairytales. People don’t want to deal with reality. But having a platform that simply gives people what they want without a thought of how it will affect them is irresponsible. And it’s ruining social media. NO ONE CAN LIVE UP TO THIS SHIT BECAUSE IT’S NOT REAL. But try they will, and soon they’re sharing their own version of a made-up fairy tale to their friends. And then their friends see it and do the same thing.

Throughout my blogging journey, which started out talking about food and has since grown into sharing lifestyle content, I have always tried to create beautiful things and inspire people, whether it be in written or visual ways. But I have also tried to be transparent about the fact that my life is far from perfect. My apartment isn’t always vacuumed or clean, I deal with depression, I burn myself out sometimes, I live on a budget, I have curves and rolls, etc. And I’ve tried to make it a point to be real with you all when I am working with a brand that’s paying me. And always, always, always making sure I can actually stand behind a product or service before even thinking about accepting money from a brand to share it with you. Because I like to think that I want to leave a positive effect on people. One that makes them feel good, not one that makes them feel like they’re not enough.

Ultimately, this whole thing is about Insecurity—disproportionally selling more insecurity than inspiration, to be exact. And when you get right down to it, one could say a big chunk of influencers have commodified the insecurity of other people. And what’s so ironic about that is that they themselves are too insecure to share their real life, and their true authentic selves.