We’re living in a world today that’s changing so much in terms of beauty standards. Yesterday I saw Target’s new swimsuit ads, which feature real, unphotoshopped women and in the same day saw a Facebook Live video of a woman sharing her fat-shaming experience while she was eating an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen. We’ve come a long way, but we’ve got miles to go, right? It’s important that we as women who live in a society that still tries to fit us into a box rock who we are with fearlessness, proving that we are multi-faceted and real, and that’s how it should be.

Body confidence is one of those things I thought was a myth, but over the years, I’ve found it. That doesn’t mean I sometimes don’t have a self-conscious moment, but today I’m proud of me and my body, and I want all of you to feel the same way about yours!

I grew up as a heavy kid, and when I moved to NYC in my early twenties, I felt out of place in a city that seemed to be brimming with chic, lithe, cigarette-smoking women. So I cut out breakfast. Sometimes lunch. Opting for coffee to get me through the day. And as I dwindled, so did my energy and understanding of myself. I was a size 0, and defined myself by that, and pretty much only that.

{Wearing this little bikini was a rip-off-the-bandaid kinda moment for me}

At a certain point, when I started getting intense mood swings from being hangry, I realized that the struggle for this thing my body didn’t want to be was not worth it. Not to say that the women I was striving to look like weren’t awesome. They just weren’t who I was. That’s when I started to take a look into myself for answers about confidence, to understand what really made me feel comfortable in my own skin. I’m not promising that I have all of the answers and that all of these will work for you, but they’ve been stepping stones for me that got me to where I’m at now, and I hope they encourage you to love who you are.

WORK OUT. . .BUT DON’T FEEL BAD IF YOU DON’T 

The gym was really where I found a lot of inner strength. I decided to work with a trainer once a month so I’d have the basics down.  I started strength training rather than sticking to the cardio machines, and built so much confidence from learning new things about my body and achieving goals I never thought I could. I also gained weight doing all of this, but with that I gained discipline and the feeling that I am unstoppable. That being said, I give myself the leeway to not go to the gym every day. If I’m feeling a sweatpants and Netflix kinda day, that’s cool, too. Both are necessary to my happiness.

{We look different at all angles, and there’s no shame in it!}

BUY YOURSELF SOMETHING SEXY

A really intense moment for me was when I donned the little bikini for this shoot last summer. It definitely bares a lot more skin than I usually do, but it was like a rip-off-the-bandaid moment. And after that, I’ve never been less self-conscious about the everyday outfit quirks we tend to question ourselves about, like “is my blouse revealing too much cleavage?” or “is this shirt too tight on my stomach?” I’m like, screw it! I feel good, so this outfit is looking good, too. Buy something that makes you feel sexy (this can be ANYTHING) and wear it for yourself. It doesn’t even have to be out in public. Put it on when you’re chilling at home or layer a saucy lingerie set under your clothes.

OWN YOUR CHOICES

You are the boss of you and your body, so you get to make the decisions. Don’t even think about saying (or thinking) “I shouldn’t be eating this” when you’re enjoying that ice cream sundae. You wanted it, so you should have it! We spend so much time making ourselves feel guilty for things that don’t even matter, so just own it!! If I’m eating loaded nachos (I have a rad recipe here, btw), I’m fully in it and enjoying every freaking bite.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVITY

It’s tough to be positive when you’re surrounded by negativity. I had a job environment a few years ago where I would work myself to the bone and constantly be picked apart for tiny things that didn’t fit the big picture of the success I was leading. I was as also advised, “Not to go to the fridge too much,” on the days I worked from home. It’s no wonder I felt bad about myself. Toxic people like that have no right to be in your life, so tell ’em byeee and gather with people that uplift you. I also do this on social media. Here are some of my favorite body positive Instagrammers.

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